A Message To The Haters

Happy New Year!! I am so excited by the prospect of 2019! New Years always make me feel like I have a clean slate! In anticipation of all the wonderful things to look forward to in 2019 and for people to feel my excitement I searched for a meme to share on my Instagram story.

After 30 seconds or so of searching I came across this meme.

"...And 2019 I'll go for everything they said I couldn't have"

When I first saw this I was like "Yes! I am gonna go for it!" "They can't hold me back." "Can't stop! won't stop" as the Godfather Puff Daddy once said!

Then I reflected on that statement, who are they? When did they say I couldn’t have things? Why did this statement make me so charged up?

I thought I would ask my followers what they thought about this topic with the simple question.

'Do you believe there are people out there that want you to fail?'

To my surprise 88% of respondents answered yes to the poll. These people were mostly between 20 - 35, there were two users who were in their teens. I needed to find out more.

I followed up my original question by asking 'If your answer was yes... why would people not want you to win?"

One person noted,

"They see things as a competition or it’s a stem of selfishness-it’s in their best interest for me not to win"

Most people suggested it had something to do with jealously one person actually admitted they wanted to see someone fail because of envy rather than being motivated. Another person suggested it was a friend who wanted them to fail.

Is it just me or is it really toxic to think that there are people who want you to fail just because of jealousy? Naturally this made me question what the root cause of this was. Mary C. Lamia suggests that this has got to do with social comparison, we use others to compare our lives and if their lives seem better we feel bitter. Envy is actually a form of flattery to the other person but it is a poison to ourselves.

Another question I have is how do we know people want us to fail? Could it be because we want others to fail subconsciously? Is it because we might have 500 followers on Instagram but only 20 people like our posts promoting our new project?

I honestly do not have the answers but hope people who are envious find that inner peace and can build up their self-esteem. Maybe they should go for a social media fast to sort out their heads. For the others who feel people have bad intentions towards them, I hope you also keep your peace and reach your goals no matter who is watching. Finally, if you are a Tottenham fan reading this, I always want your team to fail.

Nonetheless, let us all reach for heights we thought we couldn’t attain!

Peace and Love,

Imisi